My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize