The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
