ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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