i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
