I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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