Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
