he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
