We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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