sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
splinters make it hard to masturbate
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
