Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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