He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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