can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
