Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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