I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
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Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
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University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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