fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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