he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
