Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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