It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
