theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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