went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
