Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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