a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
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Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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