The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
