Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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