ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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