if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
