i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
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Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
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I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway