New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.