Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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