All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
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there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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