I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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