I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
