I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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