i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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