lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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