I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
