So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
