the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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