I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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