I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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