apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
