Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
