And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
