Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
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I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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