How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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