note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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