Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
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We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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