I love black thongs
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The power of my boobs compel you
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
