Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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