I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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