It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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