Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I need a beard to bite.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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