I can't breathe out the right side of my face
The best revenge is premature balding
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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