LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I believe in your delicious
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
