I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
