...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
