I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
