Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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