It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
