After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
