I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
