I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
