If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
